Day 39: Reflections

Tuesday, April 28: Early morning and it seeps into my consciousness that this is the end of Level 4 lockdown, aimed at beating the deadly coronavirus. Five weeks of being home alone, in unprecedented times. There have been no visitors across my threshold and the car has only left the garage three times (briefly).  Level 3 is also about staying close to home, observing rules, staying safe. But already it feels different. I have a phone interview to do this morning, and I have my eye on coffee in Hamilton East and a takeout dinner from either the Dumpling House or Hayes Common’s Whizz Bang Bao foodtruck. The lawnmower man turns up at 9am and cuts my minuscule patch of weedy grass. He’s back in business, too. There are phone calls – and appointments for further down the track – from the dermatologist, a wedding couple, and my hairdresser Patrick (I cut my fringe this morning and it seems a bit short).

 Suddenly, there are notes on the calendar again; a whiff of freedom and normality.

In lockdown, I’ve missed the physical presence of my family and friends, I’ve missed having people in my house, sharing food, wine and company. I’ve missed fresh fish, Mt Maunganui, doing my own supermarket shopping, and most of all I’ve missed being able to hug people. I said to Guy the other day that I almost felt like rushing out and hugging the man who delivered my bread. I didn’t, I promise. And hugging still has to wait another couple of levels.

There are good things from this time as well. I know every sunny nook in my house, I’ve moved around these frequently with a good book. I’ve also liked having the time to pause, free of any pressure of people and places, and to just be, in my own space and company. On daily walks I’ve found many new corners of my neighbourhood, and I’ve truly valued the connections with my neighbours. This has helped during the weeks of a solo bubble. As have all the “contacts” – talks, texts and Zooms – with family and dear friends. You’ve been amazing; I couldn’t have done it without you. And I’ve been especially blessed to have Guy, Anna and the kids next door.

I’ve loved the peacefulness of my neighbourhood, the morning mists followed by glorious autumn sunshine and colours, the tuneful choirs of birds, the lack of cars, the friendly strangers, and the industrious people I’ve said hello to while they’ve been tidying their front  yards. I’m not much of a gardener but thankfully my herb patch has been lush with parsley, basil, sage, mint and rosemary. It has enhanced so many meals. Along with the produce dropped off by friends.

I’ve loved all the cooking, juggling pantry supplies and leftovers, channelling the food memories of my mother and my aunts who taught me how to make something out of nothing.

Some days I’ve revelled in the free-flow of lockdown, some days I’ve been desperate for it to be over. I’d like to take some of the accidental lessons of the past five weeks into the next round of my life: keep things a bit more simple, don’t overload the calendar, don’t buy stuff I don’t need, walk to the shops rather than drive, take time for neighbours and support local businesses wherever possible. Local businesses are fundamental to the fabric of our community.

 Right now, though, I’m keen to move forward. I don’t want life to be forever limited. I’m hugely proud of our country’s response to the pandemic crisis and hopeful we’ve done enough good work that we won’t be cycling in and out of lockdown. I’m thankful to Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, and her government and advisers, for steering us through this, and for making the hardest of calls between the nation’s health and economic needs. I back them. I’m sad about the Covid deaths and the wretched illness suffered by people who contracted the disease. And I’m as anxious as anyone about the state of our economy, and the many people and businesses now suffering. There are huge fiscal and employment issues ahead.

I’ve enjoyed writing this blog, originally a daily diary for my grandkids to read in the future. I’m always happy when I have my fingers on the keyboard and it’s been like talking to friends and family each morning, even if it is a one-way conversation.

Thank you, everyone, for the feedback, calls, emails and texts, and for sharing your testing times and good times as well. Now that Level 4 is over, I’ll end the daily posts with this one and maybe pop up again with an occasional missive. I’ll email when I’ve done this, in case you want to have a look.

My love and warmest wishes to all,

 Denise

Kia hora te marino; may calm be spread around you.

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